Horror Stories
by King in Yellow
Summary: To tell a good story you must know your audience. Kim and Shego learn that bitter truth the hard way as they play to a tough audience. Best Enemies universe.


Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage. 

NoDrogs created the twins, whose origin was radically altered in my stories.

**Horror Stories**

The gibbous moon faintly illuminated the skeletons of trees that stood around the old house on the cold autumn night. A fierce wind shook the trees, causing their branches to tap against the house with the noise of dead men's fingers, and moaned down the chimney into the fireplace.

"Great night to stay indoors," Kim said without fear of contradiction as Shego arrived with two ginormous bowls of popcorn.

The family sat on the carpet in front of the fireplace in the library. Jane grinned at her sisters from the comfort of Mommy's lap.

"You two were that cute, once," Shego told the twins.

"What do you mean, once?" Kasy demanded, "We're still adorable."

"Nah, you lose that when you outgrow the footy pajamas," Eemah told her daughters, referring to Jane's sleepwear.

"That's not it," Kim, dressed in pink pajamas and large fluffy slippers, pointed out. "You lose it when you become teenagers. Which in the case of you two was about ten or eleven."

Shego, dressed in a black flannel nightgown with green pinstripes and a printed image that looked like a shirt front and tie (in case she ever needed to run to court the moment she got out of bed) threw her arms around the girls seated on either side of her, "But you know Mommy and I will always love you."

"You're just saying that because we get to pick the nursing home you're going to," Sheki reminded her.

"You're holding my eating arm, Sheki will get ahead of me on the popcorn!" Kasy complained.

"Teenagers," Kim sighed, "got to love them."

"Or tie heavy weights to them and drop them in the river," Shego finished.

The family talked about their days and plans for several minutes, then Kasy demanded, "Somebody tell a scary story! It's, like, a perfect night."

"I don't know," Kim said, looking at the five-year old on her lap.

"Story! I want a scary story!" Jane chirped happily.

"I made the popcorn," Shego reminded Kim, "you take story time."

Kim thought for a minute, "Okay. Once upon a time there was a scary ghost who lived--"

"I don't think Helen likes that story," Jane protested.

"Eh?" Kim asked

Sheki raised a hand for silence. After a minute she reported, "Helen thinks you're guilty of stereotyping."

"Stereotyping?" Shego protested. "No one worried about stereotyping in the twenties. Where would she have learned something like that?"

"Sheki interviewed her for a class report," Kasy explained, hoping to get her twin in trouble.

"I wanted to know how society's attitudes towards women had changed in the last hundred years," Sheki told them.

"Great, now we've got a liberated ghost," Shego grumbled.

"Well then, it's your turn," Kim told her partner.

Shego's voice went low and spooky, "Okay, kids, once upon a time there was a horrible monster that lived in the forest outside the little village of Middleton--"

On a throw rug just in front of the fireplace a creature stirred. It stretched, yawned, flapped its wings twice to get them in a comfortable position and stared over at Shego and the twins.

"I don't think Smaug is going to like that story," Jane protested

"Wonderful, we've got a liberated monster also. Kim it's your--"

"Do you want to know what Helen just said?" Sheki asked.

"No, I don't," Shego snapped. Then remembering that if Helen had not actually _lived_ in the house longer than they had she had certainly resided there longer, the green woman addressed an apparently empty chair, "Sorry, I'll try and be more careful." Turning back to the redhaired woman she finished her earlier thought, "Back to you Kim, your turn to come up with a scary story."

"This time for sure," Kim predicted confidently, "Once upon a time there was a mad scientist who--"

"Oops," Kasy apologized, "I forgot to tell you that Uncle Drew called. He wants Jane to test something out at the lab."

"I do not want Jane testing anything at the lab. Why in the world would they ask her in for a test? It doesn't sound safe."

"He said something about a durability test."

Shego laughed, "If a five year old can't break it they can label it indestructible under normal conditions."

"I got nothing," Kim reported to Shego, "back to you."

"Two girls getting lost in the basement with their uncles Jim and Tim?"

"That was fun," Sheki giggled.

"Scared the crap out of your mommy and me," Shego muttered.

Kim tried again, "Aliens?"

"Please, we're green," Kasy reminded her.

"Mummies, werewolves, zombies, robots… Anything scary there?" Kim continued.

"Bego isn't scary," Jane protested.

"And we've met the 'monster' they made all the movies about," Sheki mentioned by way of pre-emptive strike.

Neither Kim nor Shego had any desire to mention vampires.

Shego made a last ditch effort to generate terror, "How about the kids who got in the liquor cabinet," she snarled. "Scary enough for you?"

"Been there, done that," Kasy yawned. "The evil ninja babysitter was scarier."

"Fine, my jaded darlings. You come up with something scary then," Shego told them.

"Give me a minute…" Kasy requested.

Sheki grinned, "Oh, I've got one!" When the rest of the family gave her their attention she began, "Once upon a time, there was a Mommy who couldn't cook!"

Kasy covered her ears and moaned, "The horror! The horror!"

Jane covered her eyes and screamed loud enough to startle Smaug - who ran over to make sure the little girl was safe.

Shego lay back on the floor and laughed.

Kim glared at the rest of the family. "That is so not funny."

--The End--


End file.
